If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
