i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
