just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
