I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
