Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize