You're so nebulous sometimes
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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