I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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