I want to have your abortion
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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