You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
