is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
i think i just lost a toe
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