shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
