We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Randomize