I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Randomize
