no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
