so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
