He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
