you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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