we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
