I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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