I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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