So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Randomize
