Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
the room spins SO much faster in panama
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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