I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
