Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
i now understand why vodka
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
