just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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