Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
