I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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