You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
