so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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