just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
