I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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