The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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