Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
