I heard we made out
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
My vagina just recognized that song.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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