yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I want a musical about memes.
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