You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
