If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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