is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize