i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
