So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
