dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
