I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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