Your tits are I can't wait for
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
