Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
