A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
