Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
