I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
