I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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