The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
