at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Just cropdusted the office
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
