I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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