dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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