OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
