you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Randomize
