you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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