i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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