she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
