New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
