Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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