His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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