I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize