I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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